Opening up about how he got through this difficult period, Alan told the Daily Mail Weekend magazine: “All this stuff at home was happening, and even writing about it was hard because things were changing.
“It was like nailing blancmange to the wall, like the tectonic plates of my relationship were shifting. Then Bev was slowly fading.
“I know it sounds silly but, yes, there were times I’d stand in the wings and just shake and think I couldn’t go on.
“I think the audience sensed that too. There was like an extra cheer from them, a ‘Go on, Alan’. I needed that.”
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He added: “I didn’t have a breakdown, no. I don’t want to say I did because I didn’t. But comedy probably stopped me having a breakdown.”
Alan split from husband Paul earlier this year
David M. Benett via Getty Images
Paul now takes care of the former couple’s other two dogs due to Alan being away for work so often.
The comedian admitted he prefers to work constantly rather than return to an empty house.
He said: “People have said to me, ‘Alan, you’ve got to go home at some point’.
“But Paul’s not here, the dogs aren’t here, so I know I’m coming home to an empty house.
“When I do stop and come home, I get lonely. I need to sort myself out.”
Just days the couple revealed they were divorcing, Paul was jailed after pleading guilty to drink-driving, having reversed a 4×4 into a police car while four times over the limit.
He was released after two “harrowing” nights in custody following a successful appeal against the ruling.
Earlier this year, Alan insisted he would always remain friends with his ex-husband, telling Lorraine Kelly: “He’s excited about the future, I’m excited about the future, but we’ll still always be friends because we’ve been through so much.”
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